Of Ecology, Nomads And Innuendos

Why, just today I had made a sneaky attempt at luring my Electronics professor into an argument over how Hydel Power Plants were being erected at the cost of destruction of the entire ecology of a river and how human domination over Mother Nature wasn't a part of Lord's plan for us. Him being an ordinary selfish mortal of an engineering background wouldn't flinch beyond calling it 'a price to pay for development.' I would, au contraire, accuse him of being in alliance with 'A League Of Extraordinarily Apathetic Gentlemen' and proceed to enumerate one million and one ways that nature would revenge those that belonged to this Anti-Environmental Mafia. But initiating such a debate wouldn't be a cake-walk. And it was imminent for the success of my mission to find a way.
I thought I'd lure him with a plate of Cheeses. Only, I didn't carry my plate of cheeses to class that day. So I thought of an alternative approach. I would decoy him with a technical question. And right when he was least expectant of an outburst, I would present one. It would be no less than accusing him of mere scandal. And thus, I posed a cautiously well-framed question.


The cautiously well-framed question was 'put off' until he 'delved further into that area'. That "co-incidentally" did not happen.
Did he see right through my inquisition? Or did someone prompt him into dismissing me before I could lash my whip at him? A conspiracy, no doubt. But I was warded off.

Not disheartened, I looked ahead and eagerly anticipated my very first class of Environmental Sciences ever. Expectations were high. Aspirations unlimited. Finally, I was to be face to face with another being who would reciprocate my firm convictions against the advancement of technology at the cost of Ecological damage. If he were to suggest anything to the contrary, he would be failing at his duty, cheating himself and betraying those, few but loyal, that battled their own kind for the good of this planet and all that it harbours (besides us).
Needless to say, I was disappointed. The fellow knew no more about the environment than he did about Madonna's lipstick collection. Possibly, a lot less.
What he was good at, in fact, was Dramatics and elocution. The next 45 minutes, he spent reading off senseless statistics and meaningless numbers from the screen with such zest and sensation, one was convinced his classes had been Produced and Directed by either Alfred Hitchcock or Ekta Kapoor.
His elocution skills must have been marvellous for if none other, he had convinced at least himself of his supreme knowledge and expertise in his 'area of specialisation'.

His pupils did not feel deprived of reason to babble and chortle at him. He scarcely felt concious of himself but occasionally would ask us why we were roaring, put his hands dangerously close to his pelvis, raise them consequently (palms facing outwards) and ask "I'm okay na?", only sending us into another fit of sniggers.

He made constant references to what he had told us in 'yesterday's class.' On numerous occasions, I felt ever so tempted to correct him that we had necer had a class 'yesterday' to begin with. My inner wisdom prevented me from shattering his notions of lectures that had never taken place at all. And thank god too, for as it dawned upon me soon after, he had been all the while referring to a lecture he had delivered to us almost a year ago (three days to be precise) that I had missed.

I was only just about to curse him for being such a grave disappointment, a dimwitted fool and a bore that a rather explicit illustration of three men, unclad from head-to-toe holding up spears whilst exhibiting their genitalia appeared before us on the screen. Needless to say, some gasped, some one or two fainted while most, sooner or later, guffawed. As if that weren't enough, he too yelled "Yes! Yes! I wanted you all to see...."
(and passionately gesturing with his arms, mind and soul towards the innocent naked men on the screen, he approached the climax)
".... THIS is what we all were...."
(adopting a grand pose, holding up an imaginary spear of his own and thrusting his precious pelvis forward, boomed....)
"....HUNTERS!"

Our lungs collapsed in laughter.